Ash's Guide for Dining Alone

When I was a child, as well as yesterday, my favorite thing to do when I was mad or sad or happy was to sit in front of a mirror and practice my sad face. 

It is this type of expression I channel every time I dine alone. Not because I'm sad, in fact I'm a little happy sometimes. I can order whatever I want with no consideration for my dining partner's desires. Eric is probably thinking "isn't this what you normally do?" The answer is yes, but I feel bad about it!

Back to my sad face. After traveling alone for a few weeks now, I've become extremely bored with my inner monologue so I make up stories for myself. Usually they are terribly sad. Last night I made up an Under the Tuscan Sun type scenario.  

 

In short, that is Rule #1: Dream up a fantastical story for why you are alone. 

 
Then when you get bored completely play out this story in your head.

Rule #2: Let them feel sorry for you. 

 

Trust me. When I was getting afternoon tea at The Orangerie here in London, the waiter sat me at a huge table with a view of Kensington Palace. It was the best table they had. I know this because he said "this is the best table we have!"

Rule #3: Order Booze. 

Here's the theory: people who drink alcohol are fun. Fun people have friends. Therefore I have friends. My parents raised an A-typical, confident and independent millennial woman. They also raised a human being. So ya, I care about what people are thinking about me and desperately want them to know I have friends. There I said it. 

Rule #4: Have a physical book. 

In a previous blog post I questioned why I would buy a physical book when I could download ebooks for free. Since then I have realized that physical books are much more wimsical appearing. And if there's one thing I like more than saving money it's appearances. 

The Paris Wife: Perfect for reading in Paris!

Rule #5: Take lots of pics.

There are two routes you could go with this. Either take pics of yourself or take pics of the food. In the former you will be reinforcing the idea that you have friends. Friends love to see selfies of you doing interesting things. In the latter, they might think you are a food reviewer and give you special things. This hasn't happened yet, but I am hopeful. 

Rule #6: Think of the benifits. 

When you get sad and lonely remember the good stuff. For example, at breakfast buffets you get to use the entire table! "Is someone joining you?" "no."

Rule #7: Don't sweat the small stuff.

Last night I was at a fancy indian restaurant called Chakra (that was delicious by the way). At the end of the meal the waitress brought a plate with a little white thing on it. She said "your towel," but for some reason my brain was on auto pilot and assumed it was a marshmallow. She proceeded to pour water over it and it grew. I now thought it was a GROWING marshmallow and got even more excited. So I picked it up and took a bite. That is when I realized it was a towel. Shit happens. Don't let it bring you down.